Friday and Norse Deities: Frig or Freya

Recently, my wife spilled some coffee, and out of her mouth comes Frig. This is most likely her Germanic background coming out where Frig was a Norse deity that some people swear by. I too have done it through saying Friggin’ at times in my life. I also have a very weak Germanic background, which also may be of use when considering that I have used that word. This concept of taking a deity’s name in vein is commonly known in Christian circles, where swearing or cussing in Jesus’ name is forbidden because the New Testament says that Jesus is Lord, and thus to profane the name Jesus is to take the Lord’s name in vain, which I might add is also a commandment though I like the Jews, such that I don’t believe that Jesus was or is Lord. Perhaps, this is where the saying Fuck comes from, as Faulk, the way it was pronounced, was a crusader who became King of Jerusalem. Tying Frig into Friday is not a very gross step when you consider that Frig is the name of a Norse deity, and likewise that people swear in her name is no doubt where we get out word Friday from, where the English language actually stems from proto-Germanic origins. Likewise, that Frig is where we get Friday should come as no surprise if the other days of the week are concerned. For example, Wednesday stems from the Norse God Woden, and Thursday, stems from the Norse God Thor, and Saturday stems from the words Sabbath, where Saturn’s day actually refers to Jacob’s day, where it is such that the Israelites, the descendents of Jacob, observe their Sabbath or Shabbat on Saturday.

The Book of Jeush: Edomite Salvation Via Teshuvah - Benjaminite, Judahite, and Levite

Genesis 36:(4) And Adah bore to Esau Eliphaz; and Basemath bore Reuel; (5) and Oholibamah bore Jeush, and Jalam, and Korah. These are the sons of Esau, that were born unto him in the land of Canaan. 1:1 Different mothers give birth to someone named Jeush, as we will find, such that we can know that with respect to motherhood, Jeush’s mother is probably not very influential, such that conversions may come. One of them is listed above, and it is such that Jeush is a son of Esau, and therefore an Edomite. Later we find that Jeush though possibly an Edomite, may appear as an Israelite, and belong to even Levitical clans. But, what we can learn from this is that Jeush will become an Israelite through a sort of rebirth in his lifetime. This is the sort of man who is born one way, and through teshuvah is able to undergo such change that he can live another way that is righteous. 1st Chronicles 7:(6) The sons of Benjamin: Bela, and Becher, and Jediael, three. (7) And the sons of Bela: Ezbon, and Uzzi, and Uzziel, and Jerimoth, and Iri, five; heads of fathers' houses, mighty men of valour; and they were reckoned by genealogy twenty and two thousand and thirty and four. (8) And the sons of Becher: Zemirah, and Joash, and Eliezer, and Elioenai, and Omri, and Jeremoth, and Abijah, and Anathoth, and Alemeth. All these were the sons of Becher. (9) And they were reckoned by genealogy, after their generations, heads of their fathers' houses, mighty men of valour, twenty thousand and two hundred. (10) And the sons of Jediael: Bilhan; and the sons of Bilhan: Jeush, and Benjamin, and Ehud, and Chenaanah, and Zethan, and Tarshish, and Ahishahar. 1:2 The very nature of belonging to the tribe of Benjamin suggest that Jeush is neither righteous, nor a sinner, but a moderate person because Benjamin translates to a moderate. Moderates are folks that do not sin, but are unable to fully eradicate their sinful inclinations. Hopefully, this is but a step in the journey. 1st Chronicles 8:(39) And the sons of Eshek his brother: Ulam his firstborn, Jeush the second, and Eliphelet the third. (40) And the sons of Ulam were mighty men of valour, archers; and had many sons, and sons' sons, a hundred and fifty. All these were of the sons of Benjamin. 1:3 Here Jeush is listed again as a Benjaminite, where the genealogy is given in reverse order, ending with Benjamin, suggesting that Jeush is never fully able to repent as a Benjaminite, meaning that though he is Jewish, he will still be a sinner, suggesting the necessity of this essay’s verse in 2nd Chronicles which suggests that Jeush will be able to achieve the righteousness, which is required for complete salvation. Therefore, Jeush shall be saved too according to 2nd Chronicles! 2nd Chronicles 11:(18) And Rehoboam took him a wife, Mahalath the daughter of Jerimoth the son of David, and of Abihail the daughter of Eliab the son of Jesse; (19) and she bore him sons: Jeush, and Shemariah, and Zaham. 1:4 This is not the Jeush who was the son of Esau because this is the second time, “and she bore him,” occurs. Thus, it is not the mother or the father that makes Jeush who he is, but rather his actions, which draw him to belong to Edom, which is to be destroyed, or that he be an Israelite that shall be saved. 1:5 However, from the books of Chronicles we can learn that Jeush is among the Edomites that will likely repent, such that the verse, “And so all Israel shall be saved,” will come true. 1st Chronicles 23:(7) Of the Gershonites: Ladan, and Shimei. (8) The sons of Ladan: Jehiel the chief, and Zetham, and Joel, three. (9) The sons of Shimei: Shelomith, and Haziel, and Haran, three. These were the heads of the fathers' houses of Ladan. (10) And the sons of Shimei: Jahath, Zina, and Jeush, and Beriah. These four were the sons of Shimei. 1:6 Finally, someone who is immersed as the word Jeush may also become a Levite, but this is probably only late in life, as Gershon belongs to one of the Levitical clans of which Shimai is a family that counts Jeush as a son. Genesis 36:(18) And these are the sons of Oholibamah Esau's wife: the chief of Jeush, the chief of Jalam, the chief of Korah. These are the chiefs that came of Oholibamah the daughter of Anah, Esau's wife. 1:7 Though not recommended, Jeush is also a chief Edomite at some point in his life. If he is not that way, then he can’t be Jeush.

Edomite Conversions, such as Korah, Especially Edomites other than Azariah, Zerah, and Jeush

By this we can say that among both Edom and Israel there are both the righteous and the wicked [for example, Er was Judah’s wicked son], and that when united as the nation of Abraham, we can expect some very positive commixing, such that perhaps Jews need not fear every intermarriage that happens via ancestry, as it is such that some with ancestry of Edom will be as Jews according to Torah. As Edom ruled in the Middle Ages, and many ancestries of Kings, often called Edom by the Jews, if one has an ancestry to such a King, even an Edomite King, we may expect that this is a union that Gd approves of. In the Hebrew Torah names are chemical formulas for people. With the three verse of this blog, we see that Korah was indeed accepted as a priestly Edomite though perhaps with distaste among the Jews. However, as it is stated, “And your people are all righteous; they shall inherit the land forever. They are the shoot of my planting, the work of My hands, in which I take pride. (Sanhedrin 11:1).” Edomites will have the option of converting. Secondly, we know that by name Israel's offspring is righteous, and that Edomites sometimes carry these names such that Edomites may also be righteous, and intermarriage need not be feared. Firstly, Korah is listed as an Edomite. First Chronicles Chapter 1 (35) The sons of Esau: Eliphaz, Reuel, and Jeush, and Jalam and Korah. Secondly, Korah is listed as a Judahite. First Chronicles Chapter 2 (43) And the sons of Hebron: Korah, and Tappuah, and Rekem, and Shema. Thirdly, Korah is listed as a Cohenim, meaning a priest where priests are descendents of Kohath). First Chronicles Chapter 6 (7) The sons of Kohath: Amminadab his son, Korah his son, Assir his son; Another Edomite that possibly converts is Nahath who is firstly listed as an Edomite, but then in Chronicles 6 as a priest. First Chronicles Chapter 1 (37) The sons of Reuel: Nahath, Zerah, Shammah, and Mizzah. First Chronicles Chapter 6 (11) As for Elkanah: the sons of Elkanah: Zophai his son, and Nahath his son; Still another Edomite that possibly converts to Judaism is Kenaz. As an Edomite: First Chronicles Chapter 1 (36) The sons of Eliphaz: Teman, and Omar, Zephi, and Gatam, Kenaz, and Timna, and Amalek. As a Judahite: First Chronicles Chapter 4 (15) And the sons of Caleb the son of Jephunneh: Iru, Elah, and Naam; and the sons of Elah: Kenaz. And, still another Edomite the possibly converts to Judaism, Shobal. As an Edomite: First Chronicles Chapter 1 (38) And the sons of Seir: Lotan, and Shobal, and Zibeon, and Anah, and Dishon, and Ezer, and Dishan. As a Judahite: First Chronicles Chapter 2 (50) These were the sons of Caleb. The sons of Hur the first-born of Ephrath: Shobal the father of Kiriath-jearim; Therefore, because there are so many, I deem the list sufficient to prove the point, without searching out the other names given in the Chronicles.

A History of My Mental Illness 2/16/2013

I guess that I first noticed that I was having problems was in 8^th grade.  Yes, I was bullied in 8^th grade, but that wasn’t the problem.  I stood up to the bully in 8^th grade and he backed off from harassing me.  However, this year was the first year I really noticed that my sexual inclinations were greater than my peers.  In fact, they were probably greater than my peers going back to 7^th grade, when I dated a high school sophomore.  However, by 8^th grade I was too fast for love.  In 8^th grade, I can remember dumping a new girlfriend on the first night because she wouldn’t have sex with me.  Lucky her, because even if she had, it wouldn’t have lasted for much longer.

8^th grade was a hard fought year for me.  At school, I waged a tremendous war with my evil inclinations, which were the result of powerful opiates that enter my blood through my digestive tract when I consume gluten or casein.  I also had acne too.  Part of it was due to my allergic reaction to milk and milk products, but it was also due to the soap I was using, which was something I didn’t figure out until my first year of marriage with my wife.  So here I was as an 8^th grader with my hormones on overload, and when asked to write about what paradise would be for a class assignment, I wrote how I thought death would be paradise.  Obviously, I was very depressed, and in fact depression followed me all the way until I stopped consuming gluten and casein, but that wasn’t until I was about 22 or23 years old.  So, this wasn’t a usual depression, as I was both depressed and hypersexual.  Despite this, and probably because my teachers may have been able to see how hard I waged war with my evil inclinations, I was picked to be the cross bearer at my 8^th grade graduation ceremony.

High school had its ups and its downs.  My senior year was actually really fun, even though I had tremendous sleeping problems again due to opiates, but also probably due to sleep apnea.  It seemed like I was always very tired, and in fact, most mornings in high school I wanted to cry because I was so tired, but the tears wouldn’t come.  I often thought of finding a way to skip school because every day I was so tired I wanted to cry.  Yet, I had plenty of friends in high school.  Most of them probably just thought that I was quiet, but inside my greatest dreams at the time were to have a girlfriend and to be able to be a third party in a conversation, a listener to two different people talking, but this is something that I could not do because of the opiates in my system.

High school was also a time where I played in a church band with the woman who eventually became my wife about 7 years ago.  I also worked for Windstar Farm (picking veggies), The Cape Cod Times (as a newspaper hawker), and at the age of 15 or 16, I started at McDonald’s Restaurant in Bourne, back before 9-11, when anyone could travel through Otis Air Force Base.  Most notably I was elected Deputy Speaker of the House of the Cape and Islands Youth Congress, yet it came back to my dad that the girls from Bourne High School voted for me because they thought I was cute.  I was also good at music.  I played in the Academy of Music High School Jazz Combo my Senior year of high school, which was a band that acted as an opening act for local jazz bands.  Though I felt my peers were better than me, the instructor said that I was the most improved musician that year, while another young man was also said by the instructor to be the most accomplished.  He went on to play in the New York Philharmonic.

What struck me most about my sexuality is that I wanted a dirty woman, and the reason for that is that I knew that I would probably just screw up the life of a woman that I deemed as good, so when it came to relations with the opposite sex, I sought the gutter, because I couldn’t live with hurting someone who I cared about.  I also knew that I was emotionally unsteady and childlike and that would not be acceptable for me to be like that with the women who I cared about.  By college, my sexual urges were too great, when left alone I would masturbate to orgasm 35 days a week, which works out to 5 times a day.  I needed to masturbate before I went to class in order to keep myself in composure.

Through high school I got fairly decent grades and got accepted to Rutgers University.  I wanted to go there because Jersey, NYC, and Philadelphia where all close by where I would have access to the most violent mosh pits.  Probably, one reason I liked moshing so much is that the opiates in me prevented me from feeling pain when I hit people.  This was my time.  This is when I could let my evil inclination run amuck for I knew that I had to keep it under wraps when I was in professional settings, such as college, but also in high school as well.

By my junior year at Rutgers, I was a disaster.  I tried as hard as I could to get good grades.  And, I also tried so hard to find the sexual gutter, and the gutter of music, that I had a psychotic episode that changed my life.  I believed that I talked Gd.  Gd told me that He didn’t know that I would get, “So far,” that He was, “Punishing me,” and when I heard that, as an atheist, I instantly believed in Gd, and demanded of him, “Why are you punishing me?”  He said, “I get everyone sooner or later.”  This immediately gave me hope that I could evade the punishment of Gd through pursuing a righteous life.  I repented.  Suddenly, I thought I was being poisoned by carbon monoxide, so I called 9-11.  I was taken away in an ambulance and told, “The best thing you can do now is to tell the truth.”  After that hospitalization for some reason I said I was the Messiah, so that is something I will try to be, but don’t get all excited by it because I am but one person and I don’t believe that I can be the cheering section of the whole world.  What does being the Messiah mean?  I couldn’t really give you a very accurate answer other than it is something that you feel in your soul, and it is a reason to motivate one to achieve a higher level of righteousness.

That semester of my Junior year, I withdrew from all my classes.  My mom nursed me back to health like I was a little baby.  I had grown thin because I couldn’t remember to eat.  I also couldn’t remember to bathe.  When I went back to work, I was so depressed that one of my coworkers said that he thought I was the, “Tiredest human being on earth.”  I was also no longer able to masturbate to orgasm as I had done, and this was one reason for my depression.  Honestly, I had prided myself in my ability to masturbate to orgasm so much, and when I was no longer able to, it was as if I had nothing that I could pride myself in that I did well at.

I was a mess and despite all of it I believed in Gd, and eventually found my way home, which I call Torah, otherwise known as the first 5 books of the Bible.  On the other hand it was my mom that found the doctor who could mostly cure me from my misery, Dr. Greenblatt.  One verse in the Psalms really stuck out, “Delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.”  Though I was hardly delighting, I took the step of faith that if I put one foot in front of the other and surrendered myself to Gd, he would see to it that I would experience healing beyond my wildest dreams, and that turned out to be true.  Gd has blessed me with a wife that is second to none, and the best booble, as I call him, my son, on earth, as a result of my surrender to Him, I think.

About the time I first started seeing Dr. Greenblatt, I got a professionally done intelligence assessment.  It came out that my IQ was 120, but that there were severe gaps in my learning.  For example, when it came of short term memory or working memory, I scored so low that I was told that if my scores were like that across the board I probably wouldn’t have even graduated high school.  That is a really outstanding fact, if you consider that 120 is an IQ level where most folk start to be able to get a Ph.D.  Likewise, on most IQ subjects, I scored 95^th percentile, which is only the greatest degree of sensitivity that the test has.  However, more importantly was that my auditory comprehension scored in the bottom 1% of people.  That means as a listener, it was as if I were retarded.  I know folks don’t like that word, but I would not call myself special for having a low auditory comprehension ability, no, rather call me retarded, and that was one of the things that drastically changed when I stopped consumption of gluten and casein, and also started taking an enzyme daily in case something got into my food.  That is, with some dietary changes, my auditory comprehension isn’t half bad.

Another change I was able to make is adding a manganese supplement to my diet.  It has really worked wonders in preventing me from having paranoid delusions.  For me, taking manganese meant things such as no longer feeling that I had to hold my breath in bathrooms because I feared that poisonous gases would come through the ventilation shaft, or that next door the government was spying on me, which used to freak me out back when I was smoking cigarettes.  By now it has been a few years since I have had one.  Sometimes at South Bay it has been very hard not to ask for one.  I can often feel my inner gut crumble, as I think about reaching out my hand to ask for a cigarette, but by now I have been at South Bay for about a half a year, and not asked for one, so perhaps the most difficult challenges have passed.

Lastly, I got a sleep test.  Because the lady giving it asked me not to take my medication that night I was almost unable to get to sleep.  That is because without medication I grow more and more manic very quickly, and I am also given to hallucinations when I am manic.  However, once she could see that I would be unable to sleep without my pills, I took them, and she asked me not to take anymore because she feared that the ambulance would have to be called because I needed so much to fall asleep.  That night I slept only 45min and recorded 54 apneas in those 45min.  Finally, I would be able to wake up almost every morning and not be tired through getting a CPAP machine to help me breath.  This also helped me make a major step forward with respect to mood stability.  However, by then through all the turmoil of changes and various things, I had been out of work, meaning a paying job, for some time.  And, I knew very well that if a business saw the gap in my employment record, they wouldn’t hire me.  All that work to get healthy, and I would not be able to get a job it seemed.  However, I have some hope for employment via volunteering at the MSPCA, finally a place that wasn’t going to turn me down for lack of experience, recommendations, or employment gaps.  My goal is to find a Vet who will employ me through demonstrating an excellent reputation.

True, sometimes I may get hospitalized, and I need a heck of a strong medication regimen, that is constantly changing as pills effectiveness wear off, but really for the most part I am okay.  Since, finding a higher Power, taking anti-psychotic medication, cutting out gluten and casein, taking a manganese supplement, and getting a CPAP, I have experienced a radical change where I went from a nobody to someone who might well not only turn out to be a somebody, but also someone who leads a life of love with my beautiful wife and son.

I would also like to add that I spent a year off medication before my child was born.  This may be why he is such a healthy boy.  However, that year off medication was a very dangerous year.  I was very psychotic, and hallucinations and delusions were very common to my life.  Despite spending a year off of medication, and the setbacks that I incurred from that, I learned something very important and that is that pills will probably always be a very important part of my recovery.  Before I hated the pills.  I thought of them as a crutch, but now I embrace them and consider them as a part of G-d’s plan for me.

Stopping the Media Plague That Is Cursing the Innovative Minds of Our Children

I just got done playing with my child.  He handed me a spatula, and took his sword and we pretended to be having a light saber duel.  That idea of using a spatula creatively like a light saber is something too many children aren’t doing these days.  It is no wonder that the experts are saying that the younger generation is not as creative as they have been in previous generations.  Though perhaps by accident, not having the money to buy the second light saber becomes a blessing for the creativity of a child’s mind.  That is, the child only having one light saber needs to use a substitute to have fun, and through that method of substituting similar things, such as even a spatula, can have a profound effect on the minds of our youth.

So, if you are poor, don’t fret.  Don’t ask the government for $9 an hour.  Rather, teach your child how to be creative through allowing them to play, and be of assistance to helping them delve into their creative minds, such as through the Spatula Light Saber Substitution Theory (SLST).  And, at the same time, find creative ways to make your dollar stretch further, so that you don’t need to beg the government for a higher minimum wage.

Another solution to this problem of lack of creativity is to introduce your child to the Bible stories at a young age.  These stories are so fantastic that they seem like fables.  However, they will cause your child to engage his or her imagination.  Children are naturally inclined to these stories because children like fantasy.

Fantasy is a part of what makes the universe so awesome.  Without imagination, there would be no Tesla, no Plato, and no Einstein.  The world needs creative folk, one's that shake the foundations of the earth and the heavens for being allowed to play at a young age.

Why Christianity Is Wrong

"Exodus 33:20. And He said, 'You will not be able to see My face, for man shall not see Me and live.'"


Then, why do people believe that Jesus is God?   Christianity is so absurd.  By definition in the 10 commandments, if you believe something that is an earthen vessal, even a human is a Gd, then that is idolatry.

The same is true with me.  I might claim to be a Messiah, but I am certainly not a God.  God is in me as he is in everthing in this creation, permeating it in conceiled omnipresence, as we can't see Gd.  Please don't worship me.  And, it is true that I believe Gd has spoken to me.  God's words to me where, "I am punishing you."  So, I said, "Why are you punishing me?"  And, Gd's reply was, "I get everyone sooner or later."  And, yet I do know that this qualifies as a hallucination, yet I trust that it was real and Gd spoke to me.

Christianity Is Not All Bad. For example,

When I took on the task of learning Judaism, I was told that I would have to forget everything I had previously learned.  Later, I learned that this idea of becoming familiar to Judaism is like experiencing a rebirth, which I believe is what born again Christians talk of, but couldn't explain to me clearly.  At one point in my faith, I was ready to admit to myself that I hadn't a clue what being a born again Christian meant, and it took wise Jews to be able to explain this concept to me so that I could understand, and that when one takes on the Legal system of Judaism a radical reorientation occurs.

Now, the same is happening with respect to the idea that Christians say that their body is as a temple.  When I was exploring Christianity, I hadn't a clue what that meant, but now here I am able to read and understand the parallels between the human body and the Tabernacle.  However, that doesn't mean I am going back to my old ways, as some sort of very confused Messianic Jew.

TMI: On The Feb. 2013 Blizzard Nemo - Soaked In Pee In The Cold and Dark Night

I confess on the blizzard Nemo Feb 2013.  The power outage could not have gotten any worse for me the first night.  I woke up in the middle of it, and me being a guy, I figured I could pee in the dark.  You know, I've done it a million times in the light, so I should be able to do it blind-folded even.  Well folks, I missed the pot, and the spray came right back at me.  I took off my shirt and wiped myself with it, and I wiped the floor with it, but it wasn't like I could take a shower in the dark!  I would have fallen on my ass if I tried that.  So, defeated, having tried to stand and pee in the dark, I went back to bed on the couch.  Yuck!  Next time, when the power is out at night, I am going to sit to pee.  Thank Gd the power is back and I can take a shower lighted shower with hot water.

Things I’d Like to Do by Craig Hamilton the Christ

 

1.       Take Alex to see his Grandparents in North Carolina, and his Great Grandmother, Gram in Albany more often.

2.       Eat a lot of sushi.

3.       Sing a lot of karaoke.

4.       Spend time with my family.

5.       Go with relatives to Lake George.

6.       Eat a lot of olives from the olive bar.

7.       Play competitively at MTG a card game.

8.       Have a steady job.

9.       Lose some weight.

10.   Maybe play in a band.

11.   Go to Scotland & Ireland.

12.   Be a prolific blog author.

13.   Stay on Cape Cod.

14.   Go to Pawsox and Cape League Games (Go Bourne Braves!)

15.  Have some extra money.